Recovery

It's hard to be patient and self-assured when six months of bills remained unopened.

My most recent depression made it hard for me to open mail, clean my room, and deal, in general, with external reality. Now it's time to clean up the mess that built up in that time.

Aunt Besty says I lack these skills because I was not parented well. This is not blame-- neither were they taught the basics. When raising us, they were too busy dealing with the chaos of life to teach us things that other kids learned. She stayed on the phone with my for over an hour yesterday while I opened bills and dealt with finanaces. I can't believe someone really wants to help me. But in truth, she is not the only one.

My sister chose to learn life skills like planning and cleaning and financial stuff, while I chose drugs and alcohol. She reaches out to other members of the family and even gets more from my parents than I do because she's very vocal about her needs. I am only learning to ask for help.

It's hard to remember to be easy on myself at this time.