Separate Nights

I fear the thought of seeing you--
Or not--and knowing that
You're with your friends,
Playing your games,
Having your fun...

In past times of recovery,
someone said to me--
To your friends, life is a party.
But the party's over for you.

I have chosen change,
Or perhaps change
Has chosen me--
Either way,
It is mine alone

The party's not going anywhere.
You've got to choose to stay home.

Alas--
Just because I
No longer fit with you
Doesn't mean that I've quelled the feelings
Of wanting to be there.

(4bn)