Grandfather

I will not list the ways you harmed me:
You already know about the abuse.
This is a letter of forgiveness.

I have to forgive you, because
Holding onto my anger and pain
Is detrimental.

Because of the abuse, I
Have lived with major trust issues, and
Self=destructive anger.

I have been trapped
Inside myself, my pain
I have repeated mistakes
And abused myself
Long after you stopped...
I have suffered and sabotaged
My friendships and relationships...

I have kept my distance
From my family
Because you breached my trust
For them, and I
Have lived in self-pity
For the inability
To see my blessings...

But I forgive you, Now,
Because
Holding onto the anger
Cripples me and keeps
Me down

I am so much more
Then a stupid little kid,
Your servant and plaything...

I have more to give
Then you ever imagined...

So I forgive you
And will regard you as
A fucked up person
Who had his own issues--
Huge issues---
When you walked this planet
And still was Human...

But as far as I'm concerned
I never had a Papa.