Why I Sit Alone Tonight

We slept
Together
Last Weekend:
Perpendicular
And fantasized
About our plans
For Every Saturday
(You chose the topic!)

We made love
Without kissing
in a gaping
Embrace, with no
Laughter, and
Smoldering smoke
In the brutal
Cold night

You said Do you think
It can work? Us, together,
For a long time?

I think we were
Having fun,
I answered
And then something
Changed.
In you. Your tone.
Your positioning. The
lighting on my
Pores. Your
Subconscious
Definitions of
Love and Lust.

You might be skateboarding now,
Or thinking about what
Happened.

Was it because
You saw my illness?
The real one, beyond
This contagious cold?
Because I cowered
Beneath an unfounded fear
Of your fist, and wept
For eight straight hours
on Halloween's eve?
Was it because
We watched your
Ex-girlfriend
On TV, right before I
Wrote a poem for you
And pleaded
For your touch?
What did you see in me
That so repulsed you
Beyond a snot-soaked
Old sweat sock?

I feel retchid
And scaly
With limp knotty
Yarn hair and
Red rotting
Eyes
Were you to come by,
That's what you would see:
Just a fucked up onld
Dragon face, puckered
And pouring out fire