repitition

it feels
like everyone i know
is looking at me
and saying
i told you
that job wasn't going
to work out.
like children
on the playground
calling out their
taunting songs

but dammit!
i knew it too!

why do i
continually
choose
to fail
by trusting
those who i
clearly ought not?
sobbing out
shattered porcelain doll
sadness
at inevitable
endings--
what foolishness!

i could stand
in blissful ignorance,
calling out the question,
or simply
tut my tongue
to ask why
my lessons
repeat

violent
persons
boyfriends
employment situations
violating
over and again

glorifying
my tears

or accept
the most poignant lesson of all:
despite it's seduction
i am truly done
(exhaused and defeated)
with this
lifestyle
now

after suffering it:
always the same
over
and over
and over again